Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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