Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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