you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
