Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
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