how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
