Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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