Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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