Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
i think i just lost a toe
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
