its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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