Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
