i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
