I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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