I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize