Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
