I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
