I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
high people should be assigned attendants
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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