My liver just broke up with me...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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