the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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