Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
