Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
