i just google imaged poop.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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