Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
