She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
