worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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