That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
