Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
