you traded sex for a burrito?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
