standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
