you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
