Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
