I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
