your room smells of hookers.
And success
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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