you guys were way drunker than both of me
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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