thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
stop calling my apartment porn island.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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