It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
