my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
