Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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