I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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