So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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