That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
