He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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