you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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