I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
is wine microwaveable?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize