I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize