Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
