Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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