Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I can text with my tongue
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
