Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
