Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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