Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
