Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
