walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
