How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize