That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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