billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
