Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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