Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
