Too much gin, very little bucket
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize