And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
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