i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
