If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
So much Jack, so little girl.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
