Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I don't think brook has ever known best
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
