on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
