I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize
