he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize