It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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