his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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